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Is falling in love worth the risk? Should I guard my heart? These are questions every people asks when she/he thinks they’re falling in love. There were so many things running through my head as our relationship progressed. Did I really want to fall in love now? Is this just convenient? How could I be sure she/he was the one?
If I had asked myself five simple questions. If the answers to these questions are positive, she/he may just be worth lowering your defenses and falling in love with.
1. What type of trail does she/he leave behind?
Does she/he leave a trail of negative or positive outcomes? Did her/him past relationships fail due to her/him actions? Does she/he still have a good relationship with previous employers or did she/he leave in a negative way? Don’t get me wrong: people can change. The problem is most don’t. Most people have previous relationships that didn’t work out. There is usually a pattern, and patterns typically continue to happen. So if she/he cheated on someone else with you, don’t be surprised if she/he cheats on you in the future. If she/he settled for her past relationship and left as soon as something better came along, take notice.
"Study her/him past for a glimpse into her/him future."
2. Who does she/he spend time with?
If all her friends are boring, make sure you are okay with boring. If all her friends are partiers, make sure you are okay with partying.
"Take a look at who she/he chooses to spend time with and it will give you a clue as to who she/he will become."
3. Is she/he focused on her/himself or others?
This gets to the core of who she/he is as a person. Does she/he have compassion? Is she/he forgiving of others or overly judgmental? Is it always about her/him? In order for relationships to work, the people involved cannot be selfish. Selfishness is the seed that blooms into action. Selfish action eventually causes most relationships to fail. Tough times will come. If she/he’s selfish, she/he is more likely to quit than to try to work things out when the tough times come. Again, tough times will come. Be prepared.
"If she/he is focused on others, she/he will likely do the same in your relationship."
4. Opposites may attract, but similarities make them stay
How similar are you? Do you share similar beliefs spiritually or politically? These beliefs usually strengthen over time. This means any divide between you could grow wider and cause friction. Do you have a similar vision of your future? If she/he wants kids and you don’t, you will eventually have a problem.
"It is exciting to date someone who is completely opposite of you. Just understand that that excitement will eventually wear off."
5. Does she/he inspire you to be a better person?
Have you thought about changing some things you’ve always done? Are you more focused on your future since you started dating her/him? Are you more health-conscious, goal-oriented, or motivated to be a better man because of her/him?
If she/he is can be your most trusted adviser and personal cheerleader. She/he can encourages you when you need encouragement. And it hurts when you disappoint her/him because you want to be the best you can be for her/him. She/he inspires you and makes you strive to grow in all areas of your life.
"If she/he inspires you to be a better person, then she/he just might be the one."
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